You’ll find the clitoris at the top of the labia surrounding the vagina, but this nerve-dense structure extends deep into the body. You can stimulate the many nerves in the clit with both internal and external play.
If you have a clitoris or have a partner with a clitoris, you’d be wise to learn about the nerve-dense body part. Nicknamed the “pleasure nub, ” the clitoris can help vulva owners experience a lot of pleasure.
While the clitoris is less of an anatomical anomaly than major media outlets may have tricked you into believing, learning a few touch techniques can help.
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That’s why we reached out to experts and dug through the research to put together a guide for clitoral stimulation. Below, learn how to touch your (or a partner’s) clit in a way that’s seriously satisfying.
“The clitoris has the most nerve endings per square inch of any part of the human body, ” explains Caitlin V. Neal, resident sexologist for sexual hygiene and body care company Royal.
“When we consider the importance of pleasure to the procreation of our species, the clitoris seems pretty vital, ” Neal says. “Increasingly, modern science points to the vital role of pleasure in procreation.”
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“On the outside of the body, you can find the glans of the clit, usually covered by a nifty hood that protects it from too much stimulation, ” explains longtime sex educator Searah Deysach, the owner of Early to Bed, a pleasure-product company in Chicago that ships world-wide. “But inside the body, the clitoris has a whole hidden structure.”
It has legs (or crura) and vestibular bulbs that wrap around the vagina, she explains. The legs and the bulbs contain erectile tissue that expands when sexually aroused.
“The shape is often referred to as a wishbone, with some parts of the wishbone being visible on the outside of the body, but with the majority of it being hidden inside, ” Deysach says.
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(Some experts say the clit looks like an upside-down flower, with large petals extending inside the body that embodies the vaginal canal).
The clit ≠ a miniature penis It’s true that there are anatomical similarities between penises and clits. However, the idea that a clit is *just* a pearl-sized penis is inaccurate. In that regard, you don’t want to only touch the parts of the clit you can see the way you might touch a penis. Instead, assuming you or your vulva-having partner consent to it, you want to try stimulating the clit through internal play.
The G-spot is often described as a nerve-dense erogenous zone about 2 to 3 inches inside the vaginal canal, along the front wall.
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Well, some research suggests that, rather than being a totally different entity from the clit, the G-spot is actually the place where the clit’s bulbs form the heart shape that hugs the canal. Meaning, the G-spot is a specific portion of the clit that can be stimulated internally.
“Vaginal penetration can feel great for the sensations it provides not only inside the vaginal walls, but also for the pressure it can put on the interior parts of the clitoris, ” says Deysach. “Some people find that a combination of penetration and external clitoral stimulation can result in intense orgasms.”
You won’t go blind! You won’t get addicted! You won’t ruin yourself for partnered play! And, no, it’s not cheating on a partner, either!
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“It’s hard to know what to ask for from your partner if you don’t know what you like, ” says Diana Sadat, a sex therapist and clinical counselor in Vancouver, British Columbia. Masturbating gives you a chance to explore what feels good, she says.
“You may notice that stimulating in round patterns feels better than up and down, or that you enjoy stimulation using your inner labia over your clitoris rather than direct clitoral stimulation, ” Sadat explains.
“It takes your clitoris some time to get aroused and for blood to begin to flow, ” she explains. “So begin to stroke around your clitoris, touching your labia without directly going for the clit for a bit until you feel ready for that type of stimulation.”
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When you do start touching your clit, start out with gentle strokes. Then, apply more pressure or speed as your body asks for it.
Try reaching about a third of the way from the vaginal opening and playing with a mix of pressure and stimulation on the front (or upper) wall to see what feels good.
It may take some practice and experimentation to locate, but it can be well worth it if you find that extra sensitive internal trigger spot.
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Frame the question around how invested you are in discovering their pleasure points and taking the time to do so — without placing pressure on them to perform.
Many penetrating positions allow you space to stimulate the clit while having partner sex. The missionary, amazon, and spooning sex positions are especially good for this.
If your partner is a pressure-seeker, consider artfully placing a pillow or bunched-up blankets under their pubic bone. Then, allow them to hump and pump the prop while you penetrate (or lick!) them from behind.
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Use your surroundings to help you get into an optimal position. Headboards, sofa backs, and countertops are all your clit stimulation BFFs.
You might, for example, rest your back against the headboard or couch. Then, have your partner straddle your hips, grabbing the back for support. Their clit is now within perfect reach for you to put the tips above into practice.
Get into a seated or slightly reclined position, then encourage your partner to slide up and down your thigh, belly, or pubic bone.
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For added oomph, you or your partner might incorporate lube. Added slippery stuff will reduce uncomfortable friction and increase the feel-good glide.
If you have a penis or strap on, you can use this position to vaginally or anally penetrate your partner. As you thrust, your partner can reach their hand between their legs to rub their nub.
If you and your partner both have a clitoris, slide several pillows under the bottom partner’s pelvis. This will alter the angle of your hips just enough that clit-on-clit contact becomes possible. Hot!
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This is a twist on the reverse rider position. Instead of having your partner straddle both your legs, have them straddle just one.
This will allow them to ride up and down your thigh. Vaginal penetration with a penis, hand, or toy works well here.
Another option is to use an oral sex stimulation or air suction toy, which creates a similar sensation to oral sex when used with lube.
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“For some people, no matter how much pressure they use with their hands, it’s just not enough to produce an orgasm, ” says Deysach.
“Placed right next to or on top of the clitoris, vibrators can provide a sensation like no human body can, and for lots of people, this results in quicker, often more intense orgasms, ” she says.
Playtime possibilitiesSwitch the direction of your rub.Add or subtract pressure.Alter or mix techniques.Speed up or slow down the rhythm.Change the number of fingers.Add or change toys.Switch between external stimulation and vaginal penetration.
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Try not to stress! Whether during solo play or with a partner, if a certain technique doesn’t take you to cloud nine, that’s OK.
Researchers didn’t produce a 3D image of the full clitoral structure until 2008. Before then, not much was understood about the clit’s really cool internal parts and how they interact with the rest of the genital area.
So while scientific research lags behind on studying the clit, that’s all the more reason for you to do your own independent (or partnered) study on what gets you off.
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Jennifer Chesak is a medical journalist for several national publications, a writing instructor, and a freelance book editor. She earned her Master of Science in journalism from Northwestern’s Medill. She’s also the managing editor for the literary magazine, Shift. Jennifer lives in Nashville but hails from North Dakota, and when she’s not writing or sticking her nose in a book, she’s usually running trails or futzing with her garden. Learn more at her website, or follow her on Instagram or Twitter.
Has strict sourcing guidelines and relies on peer-reviewed studies, academic research institutions, and medical associations. We avoid using tertiary references. You can learn more about how we ensure our content is accurate and current by reading our editorial policy.
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